Director: James Watkins Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Ciarán Hinds, Janet McTeer Running time: 95 mins
Subject: Hammer’s adaptation of Susan Hill’s creepy book that became a creepy West End play, is most notable for what it says about Radcliffe’s post-Potter career ambitions. Contentwise, it’s a rigorous exercise in horror-by-numbers and Hinds’ presence exposes the painful gulf between what Radcliffe does and acting.
Like: House on Haunted Hill
Core truth: Don’t go in Eel Marsh House. It’s haunted and gets cut off from the mainland. And it’s called Eel Marsh House. Okay, you’re going and…you’re staying the night. Idiot. I wash my hands of you.